POTC Christmas Carol
by shinami
Summary: A retelling of the classic tale, using POTC characters, but, who is who, hmmmm... Rated Kplus for a twist on the word that Scrooge uses.


Hello, everyone I'm back with a new story.

It was inspired by the video by Toby Markham

on Youtube. If anyone has any questions, feel free

to ask. Only constructive critizism, please. No flames.

Please excuse the fact that when I uploaded this

it would not let it retain any paragraphs. So it's not

my fault.

Please read and review.

I do not own anything except the version of the story.

It was written only for entertainment.

{I only have the scrooge character saying this word

because he is supposed to.}

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Chapter One

It was a very cold afternoon in a small town in England. 12 years had past, since the

battle between the EITC and the Brethren Court. It seemed like everyone was getting

ready for christmas. Well, most everyone. A dark figure grumbled his way to a small

office. A mere shadow of his former self. He just couldn't understand all the hustle and

bustle going on around him. Don't get me wrong, he used to enjoy christmas. Food, rum,

and salty wenches. But, somethings just weren't right. Something must have happened

to this man. He didn't seem to enjoy anything anymore. Ended up a miserable miser, he did.

As he approached the door of his office, he paused to remember his partner.

"Ah, poor Hector Barbossa. 'Spose he had it coming. That was second time he died.

But, he was a good man, good pirate."

He sighed and turning the doorknob, he opened the door.

"Oi! William, how's the business coming? Making a lot of shipments?"

"Yes, Captain Sparrow." Will said as he was trying to hide a tiny bottle of rum with two swallows

left in it, behind his back. He had been trying to get a swig of it to get warm. Since his employer

had gotten rid of the furnace. Claimed the coal was too expensive.

"Will! How many times have I told ye. In this day and age I can't afford to get caught. So stop callin'

me Sparrow." He stormed over to his desk. Will turned around to get a quick swig.

Jack turned around to the former captain of the Flying Dutchman. Who had been set free, because

of his faithful wife, Elizabeth.

"Mister Turner! Would that be rum in your hands?" The miser thundered.

"Sorry, Captain Smith. Just tryin' to get warm."

Jack sauntered over to Will and ripped the bottle out of his hands. He returned to his desk, muttering

"Stealing my rum, ye bloody pirate." He shoved the rum into a drawer as he sat down.

By this time Will had returned to work, charting courses and documenting shipments and orders.

Just then, the door opened. "Merry Christmas!" a jolly older man declared.

"Merry Christmas Mister Gibbs." Will returned the warm greeting, but Jack.....

"Christmas? Bah Humbugger!" the moody pirate scowled at the idea of the holiday.

"Aw Jack, what be wrong? Ye always loved christmas?" Mr. Gibbs wondered.

"Yeh! To the locker with yer bloody christmas." Jack made a slight throwing gesture.

"Oh! well. I just came by to see what ye be doin' tomorrow evenin'. There be a gettogether

at me house." the old sailor tried to be nonchalant to cover his feelings of disappointment.

Though he should have expected it. The moody pirate had stopped coming to parties on christmas

years ago. But then again, his eyes seemed to widen with excitement at the mention of the

invitation.

"Oh. 'spose there'll be rum?" Jack rose from his desk.

"Lots of course."

"And turkey with the old caribbean sauce." gesturing wildly, he slowly swaggered toward Mr. Gibbs.

"You know it, Cap'n!" He really was gettin' a rise out of poor Gibbs.

"And plum pudding?" he clapped his hands together.

"Aye, aye!"

A dark look returned to Jack's face. "You know good and well I'm allergic to plums and I get indigestion

every time I eat turkey and those heavy spices. And if I see another bottle of rum, I'm going to scream!"

Poor Mr. Gibbs shrank against the door as he received that tounge lashing from Jack.

"So, I take it your not comin'?" he squeaked.

"No, I'm not bloody comin', Are you daft or deaf?" With that Jack turned on his heels and returned to

his desk in a huff. "Humbugger!"

Will, who had stayed quiet during the conversation, because of propriety, calmly approached the rejected

pirate. "I'm sorry Mr. Gibbs, but, I think it would be best if he were left alone right now. You know how

he gets at times." he put his arm around Gibbs' shoulder to walk him out the door. The poor man was still

in shock. "Perhaps we'll see each other tomorrow?"

"Maybe so, Will. Merry Christmas to ye." Gibbs looked over his shoulder at Jack, who was busying himself

with schedules. "And a Merry Christmas to you, too, Cap'n!" the pirate said as he left.

"Bah! Humbugger!" Jack replied in a soft, yet annoyed tone.

Will quickly closed the door and returned to his work. There was an obvious change in Mr. Turner as well.

He was not the bold and swashbuckling pirate who finally learned to stand up for himself, that he once was.

But, I guess that was the effect that the change in Captain Sparrow had caused.

A quiet moment passed by. Then Will picked that moment to ask his cold employer a question.

"Sir?" he rose and slowly removing his hat, he nervously walked over to the large desk.

"Yes, Mr. Turner?" Sparrow's eyes rose from his papers to his clerk.

"Captain Smith, I was wondering, if I may be so bold as to ask for some time off tomorrow?"

Sparrow considered this for a moment.

"Mmm. I 'spose. Only a half a day. You'll lose half a days wages though. What are your wages again?"

"Three schillings a day, sir." Will fumbled with the tricorne in his hands.

"Yes, that's right! Very well, half a day. But, come in promptly at 2:00" Jack agreed.

"Thank You Sir!" Will was exstatic and returned to his desk happy as a clam.

The rest of the work day was filled with quiet, but nerve-racking paperwork. Jack and Will calmly

said farewell. And Jack reminded Will to be there at 2:00 the next day.

The miser pulled the coat around him tighter as he headed to his home. He almost reached his

house when a couple of gentlemen stopped him.

"What can I do for you, Gentlemen?" he gruffly asked.

"We're collecting alms for the poor, and we were wondering if you'd like to make a contribution, my good sir?"

Jack put a finger on his chin. "Ooohhh, I see. Well then, I 'spose you know that if I make said

contribution, then the less fortunate wouldn't be less fortunate any more. And if they weren't less

fortunate any more, then there wouldn't be a need to raise alms for them any more. And if there wasn't said

need any more. Then I practically would be putting you fine gentlemen out of employment. So

please, gentlemen, please don't have me put you out of a job. Especially not on Christmas Eve."

Jack mused, gesturing wildly. Then he said after a moment. "So what are you still doing here,

you bloody pirates!" he exclaimed waving them off.

As they took off, he rubbed his forehead, vigorously.

"What is this world coming to? And why oh why, did I ever leave the Caribbean? It's too bloody cold here!"

He complained as he trudged through the snow, toward his house. As he unlocked the door, he could

almost swear that the knocker was changing it's shape. But, as he narrowed his eyes on it, it instantly

changed back.

"That's interesting!" he thought out loud, turning the knob, and entering the doorway, of his dark and dreary

house. He took off his hat, and as he put it on the coat rack, Jack felt an eerie feeling. Like someone was

watching him. As he removed his coat, he carefully looked around. Nope, no one was there.

Just a presently creeped out, stingy, former pirate. He shook it off, put his coat on the rack, and proceeded

to his bedroom. Suddenly, he felt someone tapping his shoulder. Jack's eyes went wide. He spun around

and saw that there was no one there. Jack rushed to his chair and climbed into it before he started shivering

with fright. "Sparrow." He jumped as he heard a ghostly voice whisper. "Jack Sparrow?" The voice called

a little louder. Jack warily looked around the room, as he shivered. The candles lit themselves. A

transparent figure of a man began to fade in. "Jack Sparrow?" Jack screamed and leapt into his bed,

covering himself with a blanket, as if it would protect him from a ghost. "Sparrow! Come now. I travel all

this way and this is how you welcome your old partner?" Jack peeked out from behind the blanket.

"Hector Barbossa?" He was delighted to see his old partner after all that time. He crawled out of his bed

to stand.

"Hector how've you been, besides being dead, again?" He tried to shake Hector's hand, but it went

right through.

"I've been better, Jack." Hector said as he held up seemingly heavy chains to show the miser.

"What are these?" Jack asked as he nervously stared at said chains.

"Remember in our business how we cut corners and cheated and even conned people out of

their finances?"

"Ah! yes. The good ole' days." Jack brightened up a bit.

"That was a mistake, a big one. We were wrong to do that. And now I have to carry these bloody

things for the rest of eternity." Hector held up his chains.

"Oh, well. Good luck with that, let me know how it turns out." Jack started to climb back into bed.

"Jack! The same thing will happen to you, only worse. Heavier and more chains, anchor included!"

Hector rattled his chains, emphasizing his point.

Jack gasped "What must one do to avoid such a punishment?"

"Tonight ye'll be visited by three spirits, Jack. Ye must do what they say, to avoid said punishment.

Now, I must be going, Jack. But, farewell and a Merry Christmas to you." Hector backed up and

waved to Jack as he disappeared. Jack held his head and growled, "Humbugger!"


End file.
